Most marriages have veered from a leisurely drive in the country to the fast lane of the world’s busiest highway.
It’s as if husbands and wives are two cars on the Autobahn, racing past one another, with a wave out the window and the fly-by question of who is going to pick up dinner.
In our 24 years of marital bliss and perfection, (jk…jk), we have learned a couple of pretty important things. And in the process of figuring it out we came to the realization that taking the first exit off of the super- highway is essential to a successful marriage.
I hope the lessons we’ve learned will prevent you from marital mistakes that could come with a hefty ticket. In a day where more than half of marriages fail, the outlook can be quite gloomy. However, it is not only possible to have a great marriage, the road signs for success are right in front of you.
Road Sign #1: YIELD
Man, oh man, I can hear y’all now. What do you mean by YIELD? That sounds about as unpleasant as a sewer backup!
And you know what? Sometimes it is. We want things our way. Now.
Yielding goes against everything in our nature. Add that to the marriage equation and we’ve got ourselves an issue.
However, yielding is probably the most important road sign to follow as we navigate through life together. And I have learned, (stubbornly I might add), that the more I yield to the small, insignificant things, the smoother things go. I’m not giving up all my preferences or opinions, I’m simply letting go of the stuff that is easy to let go of. Great things have happened when we’ve yielded to one another in love! Take my word for it. So many issues have become as trivial as the pronunciation of potato/po-tah-to.
Road Sign #2: STOP
Nagging, arguing, fussing, nit-picking and criticizing have to STOP.
But he is the one arguing, you say. So…
In order to drive our marriage on the road of success, we have to stop all negative reactions. And it begins with us. I can’t change my man. But I can change myself.
Don’t like what your spouse is doing? Is it something you can let go? If not, find a calm, relaxed time to mention it in a non-confronting way. Then back off and let him process it. Stop pushing the wrong buttons!
Road Sign #3: SLOW DOWN
Slow the heck down.
Sorry to cuss at you but we have some decisions to make regarding our fast paced lives.
Marriage needs time and attention, and lots of it. The sooner we re-evaluate things and eliminate some of the busyness, the more successful our marriages will be.
We are so good at putting everyone and everything before our spouses. Kids, activities, work, hobbies, self…we think our husbands will understand being put on the back burner. But he doesn’t deserve that. His place is first, after God. He needs you and you need him. Plain and simple. It’s time for a slow ride, through the country in the convertible of life.
How is your marriage traveling along? Do you need to take the first exit off the Autobahn?
Commit to a date night this week and discuss how both of you can make your marriage priority. Come up with ways you can spend a little more time together and where you can improve things. Most of all, pray, pray pray!
Your marriage can be a success! And it all starts with following the proper road signs.